 The
Diag‐Nose Cards
Used by the Psychographs to “see” some “illnesses”
Here are the cards by that the
Psychographs used to “diagnose” the involuntary
patients who fell into their hands. The principle here
is that a SET OF CARDS is used for diagnosis, not the
observer’s own judgment. The “patient” must fit some
card. And then, inevitably, she or he is being
labeled. This is easy, automatic – and above all very
profitable.
For further ease, the cards are even numbered. In the
pictures related to each invented illness you see
weird-looking characters in unbearable poses: someone
picking her nose, another scratching his ears, a woman
who can hardly avoid sneezing, and even a fellow
holding up a shoe and threatens an innocent cockroach
with unforgivable violence!
The List of “Diseases”
 Streptococcusic
Melancholia.
 Melancholic
Streptococcusia (the lethal opposite of #1).
- Molecular Depressia.
- Anti-vibrational Transcendentalism.
 Advanced Sub-Conscious
Sleepiness.
 Ass-Backwards Head
Syndrome (hereditary in redheads born to families
whose socioeconomic life expectancy is shorter than
the intergalactic progressive profile. It doesn’t
hurt but on the other hand it’s not a great pleasure
either).
- Extra-Idiotic Auto-Deductive De-Cognitive
Stupidity.
- Lap-Topia Cryptologarithmicality (a sneeze,
especially one that starts in reverse).
Neurosis Virtuosis Non-Configurosis (colloquially
called “Somebody stop me!!”)
- Burp-A-Lot Syndrome.
- Fart-A-Lot Symdrone (symdrone is the same as
syndrome but it's different).
- Sub-Impulsive Super-Factional Regressia (living in
the past).
- Excessive Aggressiveness toward Cockroaches.
- Consiprative Super-Imbacillian Subconscious
Intonation (speaks nonsense while sleeping).
-
 Contagious Foolishness (it
happens in the best of families. Or not).
- Gel Brains (compromises too much).
- Stone Brains (compromises too little).
 Belief
(even if evidential) in the existence of a Planetary
Psychographic Conspiracy.
- Inexplicable 24/7 Tolerance to Songs by Space-Gaga.
- Overjoyed (im-pulsive, com-pulsive or plain
pulsive) with Cream Pie Fights.
- Maniac Depressiac (default choice, if nothing else
fits).
Well, these 21 cards are only the MAIN
Diag-Nose cards. Each disease has 3725
variations that take 9
years to memorize, not including the 2½
days of practice…
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