Gaysh-Luffen

Planetary Politics for Dummies

Contact with tribe leaders and all other influential people (teachers, media folks, etc.) is maintained by abducting them to the Zone. This is done using a small and mobile extraterrestrial spacecraft. It isn’t the large and bulky Golden Eye spycraft, which is always further away and always in listening mode, never available for occasional transportation.

That small craft, model B1-RT1519XR-003/1, is named...
GAYSH-LUFFEN-1.

Funny name? You’re right. Only the nice little snake could have given such a defamatory name, purportedly edifying the Emperor’s name.

The spycraft, the Golden Eye, is flown in such an orbit that will allow it to hide in the shadow of the Big Sun. She’s additionally camouflaged by a blurring screen, as shown:

How does it all work?

Well, after abducting the selected chief or leader, the Gaysh-Luffen lands in the Psychograph’s landing site [on the map: the “legal” landing site near the small pyramids, versus the illegal one down south-west]. The abductees are transferred, blindfolded, straight into a deep underground floor in the Western Bunker where they had the Hologram Room.

This is why Snakes needed the Hologram Generator – so he could now indoctrinate the leaders via a system of atrocious holograms, based on characters from species long gone from the Galaxy.

In reality those were races that didn’t even belong in the same time and place, and even when they DID exist, their neighbors did not get too excited by the fiercely scary faces those guys were displaying. You know, like those butterflies displaying a pair of huge but fake eyes on their wings…

But to the tribe elders, who knew nothing about holography or the history of life in the Galaxy, those 3D images looked totally real.

Click to enlarge:

The “illegal” landing site in the desert was such because Snakes made sure the entire desert was forbidden to land in, under the threat of his “friends” (mercenaries, actually) from Snake Planet. This he did to conceal the secrets of the experiment, his treason against the King and his actions that violated the commercial and political rules set forth by the Emperor.

The landing site was put in place temporarily, to enable the landing of the large spacecraft of the fake “Emperor” who was supposed to arrive for periodical inspection (the legal site in the Zone was too small for that). The temporary landing site was made of thin plates and was supposed to be destroyed by the visiting craft itself, when they were done with it (upon taking off again).

But Snakes was the one who made it stay behind by sabotaging the spacecraft software. A hologram of Gay Schluffen, programmed by Billy G., gave a bypassing command to the copilot of the spacecraft, who believed the order was coming from Schluffen. The order was, in this case: “Cancel landing site destruction upon takeoff!”

Immediately after, the copilot was commanded by the fake Schluffen to jump off the craft, and so the evidence was eliminated.

“This is the cheapest way,” explains Snakes to Billy to calm his conscience. Totally redundant: Billy’s depth of conscience is inversely proportional to the size of his salary. Snakes “pays” him huge bonuses into a fictitious account in the First Royal Bank (First? You already know there’s no second, or third, and that nobody bothers to ask why).

Billy has access, legal or not, to all the computers. And Snakes knows it. Billy also has total distrust in his employer – or so Snakes conceives. Therefore Snakes kidnapped for himself one of the King’s programmers out of the space station, only to freeze him in an icebox for later use. Whenever he needs, he thaws the programmer just so he can implant another fictitious account in the mainframe computer of the First Royal Bank. Thus, if Billy ever hacks in to snoop around, he sees his account inflating and his money growing faster than a bean stock.

“Online interest for preferred customers only, for the King’s inner circle,” explains the snake with a smirk, “But don’t you dare open you’w mouth near the King ya hear? I made you a favor not fit for simple workers like you, and if the King finds out he’d tear you to pieces ya hear?” so the Poison warns Billy time and time again.

On the other hand, if some bank clerk, or one of the King’s inspectors ever stumbled upon that portion of the mainframe computer, he would only see an innocent-looking card game; one of those games planted in all business computers of the Galaxy, designed to occupy the clerks in their many hours of boredom. Just so they don’t get creative, God forbid, and do something they weren’t asked to do.