 Police Academy
In order to capture the leader of the rebellion, the
enemy recruited local informers (good people who
simply gave in to pressure and threats), large police
forces as well as “law makers.” This was strategically
backed up by monitoring from the Golden Eye spycraft,
hovering silently high above the desert.
Tracking Liberty O‘Man was quite simple: in the Golden
Eye they installed the auxiliary computer program of
Billy G. Between other duties, this
program isolates dense groups of ‘Out Of Control’
signals from the glands, especially such groups
detected in motion. Right there you’ll find one of the
underground leaders in action. According to a correct
assumption, the largest effect is generated by Liberty
herself. She lights up the fire of rebellion wherever
she turns. The most probable 3D coordinates (location
+altitude) are transmitted by simple radio to the
police station. There sits a policeman trained in the
Zone to translate such coordinates to the names of
alleys, streets and levels as they are used by local
police inside and around the Broken Pyramid.
When liberty arrives at daytime to help White Horizon
organize a convention of all activists in a camouflage
tent, her enemies prepare a large trap to capture her.
The trap operation is spread across the entire
Pyramid, day and night. But her enemies want to
capture her AT
NOONTIME and specifically IN THE CENTRAL PLAZA,
in order to create a big negative effect on her public
image. They know it would be an extremely humiliating
scene. They also plan, this one time only, a publicly
open trial to be conducted that same afternoon. The
long list of charges has been prepared by the best
lawyers, and a copy brought to Snakes for approval.
This would be what propaganda professionals call “Show
Trial.”
White Horizon is now with Fuad, about two hours walk
from the Pyramid. They are organizing materials and
location for the camouflage tent.
Habitually, Liberty does not consider herself target
for hostile attacks, as evident in the Bald Squad
stories. Nevertheless, today she feels that something
of this sort might happen. Yet, with all of her
alertness she does not realize how big the trap set up
for her.
At a certain moment she arrives at the central
marketplace, the area that recently turned into the
fancy mall plaza. Oddly, the square is vacant while
many people are gathered in the corridors. She tenses
up. From the doorway of the “candy” store – the one
that also sells Lollipop Pozrak – some friendly dude
is waiving at her; he’s not likely connected to those
poison candies.
What the hell is he doing there? She briefly ponders.
The guy continues to wave friendly to her, signalling
her to come closer with his face lit up, as if he’s
got something new and joyful to show her. Something
doesn’t add up, she thinks. He’s known to be a good
friend of Horizon and Joshua. What she does not see is
that right behind him stands the Chief of Police,
holding a sharp sword to his back, ready to be stabbed
into his heart if he dares not do as he’s told.
"Here you have an example of a man being
forced to act against his will – only BECAUSE HE’S
NOT AWARE that he is not his body," she
later explained, "A man who has absorbed too
much Psychography and has agreed with its ideas. Now
a threat on his body equals a threat on his very
existence as a life unit, an independent spiritual
force, an individual who can give up his body for
honor or any other cause – and grow a new one
instead."
Liberty decides to stop pondering, whatever the
consequences. She’ll take whatever comes and make the
best of it. Even if something terrible turns out,
she’ll take it into consideration and calculate her
next steps accordingly for the best achievable outcome
under new information. “No
fear – because fear is exactly what these bastards
dream to get from me – dream on guys!” so she
says to herself and smiles lightly, her eyes narrow,
mischievous.
She walks over to the candy store, as she looks very
attentively to different directions and pyramid
levels, where many people are standing on the inner
balconies before their doors. She realizes that
something big is about to happen. Maybe in past times
she’d define such a moment as “dangerous” but for some
reason there’s no fear in her heart today, only
interest as she’s ready for action.
As soon as she gets three steps away from the candy
store, the Chief of Police reveals himself from behind
the smiling guy. The policeman bypasses the man, not
before he knocks him down by hitting his head with the
sword’s pommel (edge
of the handle). The guy collapses and the
policeman shows off by stepping on his body, gets out
of the shop entrance and comes closer to Liberty, his
sword pointing forward. “As if I’d draw a mighty sword out
of my dress… What a lousy coward!” thinks
Liberty and looks straight into his eyes. His eyes run
around, trying to avoid. Indeed, he’s afraid.
What should I do, she tries to weigh her next step.
In the corner of her eye she can see many armed
policemen coming into vision before the crowd in the
corridors, balconies and alleys. They were there all
the time, waiting for a signal.
What’s left now: surrender to them, or die by the
sword while everybody’s watching. In any case, the
success chances of the rebellion have just shrunk
thinner than garlic shells.
“DID THEY REALLY???”
she thinks it over, “ARE
THERE ONLY THESE TWO CHOICES? WHERE IS THE
CREATIVITY, THE ART, WHERE ARE THE VIRTUOSITY AND
THE ABILITY TO IMPROVISE SO GENEROUSLY GIVEN TO ME
BY GOD?”
She needs only a brief moment to examine how she
stands in front of her public, before her friends and
dependents. Only one brief moment after which history
will be different. Go Liberty – foot off the brakes!!!
“Look – a flying horse!” she tells
the Chief of Police and looks with complete and utter
astonishment to Level 5-A. The policeman looks over
there momentarily and turns back to look at her, the
sword shaking in his hand. That brief moment was
enough; Liberty scanned the audience and thought: “What would THEY
expect of me, how would THEY see my choices and
actions in this crucial moment?”
She knows she needs an act that would be clearly
visible to them, not only correct from her own
viewpoint. Surrender now and act later? No: that would
be a loss of momentum and opportunity. Die here by
sword? Not that either: that would make her a martyr
that most everybody would forget by tomorrow with all
the drunkenness and artificial hardships. There must
be other choices, more than one or two – and most
likely closer to infinity than zero. "Hey, here’s
an option that seems excellent, let’s try it out. I
love you God!"
The central plaza is free for dancing. Let’s dance
my friend. Liberty does a back flip right from
where she stands. The policeman stands shocked for a
moment and then recovers his senses and starts chasing
her, his sword pointing straight ahead. Liberty flies
all over the plaza, feeling like the most virtuous
dancer in the universe right now. Flips and rolls and
wheels mix together on the dance floor. Wish there was
time for Grand Écart (split). The Chief runs here and
there, astounded and sweating as if standing in front
of a dragon or something. They never trained him to
dance in Police Academy.
Liberty sprints straight forward, the policeman after
her at least as fast. He’ll get her in a sec. It seems
she’s aiming at the coffee-and-cookie cart by the
corner. He’s gonna pierce her like Shish-Kebab, the
stupid girl, right into the green wooden board on
which it says in thick white: RELAX WITH OUR TASTY COFFEE .
In a sec she’ll relax as she should and peace would
come to the Broken Pyramid once again.
 All eyes are following closely. Blinking lights in
the computer room of the spycraft pull the attention
of the sleepy Shift Manager. No buzzer has gone off
yet and he watches with one eye open, the other eye
still in Dream Land.
Liberty gets to the coffee-and-cookie cart only a step
and a half ahead of the policeman. Seem like she has
no intention of stopping. The Chief has no such
intentions either. SPEED IS THE SECRET OF
POWER! He learned it once from Joshua
Gadgets. He’s gonna use the speed to stick it to that
crazy bitch deep and well. Liberty gets to the cart
with enormous speed and now all she got to do –
INSTEAD of braking – is just to push the floor real
hard with her legs. Her body flies right through the
cart, knocking over the coffee pot on the right side,
and on the left side spreading a pile of yellow
cookies stacked in pyramid formation.
The Chief’s sword misses the edge of her long dress
and gets stuck very deeply into the green wooden
board, right into the word RELAX . His chest goes into the
sword’s pommel and nearly breaks in half. “RELAX MY ASS!!!” he
yells with pain and tries his mightiest to draw back
the sword that got stuck deeper than expected.
Liberty gets up, fixing her dress and hair as she
does. She comes over to stand right next to the red
faced Chief of Police and observes his efforts, her
hands on her hips and her shoe tapping on the floor.
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“Well,
what will it be?” she signals
wordlessly with her face as she waves her
hands in the air and back on her hips.
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The audience laughs so hard that its sounds like a
rock concert shaking up a sleepy neighborhood.
All possible buzzers scream and shout in the computer
room, high above in the sky. The Shift Manager jumps
off his chair as if struck by a snake and he’s staring
at the monitors flashing red all around him, trying to
remember what to do in such cases. They never trained
him for such noise in Shift Manager Academy.
The sword won’t come out, stuck too hard. The
policeman shakes it fiercely. Nothing.
A tap on his shoulder: “Move aside, buddy, let me
try.” Happy that somebody wants to help at last, he
moves aside and wipes his sweaty face. Thunderous
laughter pulls his attention – he lifts his head and
can’t believe his eyes: Liberty stands with one foot
on the wooden board, the other foot on the floor and
with both hands she’s shaking and pulling the sword,
shouting angrily: “YOU COME OUT NOW YA HEAR?!”
By now the entire audience are grabbing their bellies
and rolling on the floor.
The Shift Manager, now half deaf from all the buzzing,
finally recalled what he should do. He hurries on to
the RESET
button, yes that’s the big red button on top. He can’t
reach it. Not even by jumping. Who’s the moron that
put the most important button where you can’t reach
it? Where’s the ladder? It’s in the orange closet in
the corridor. Where’s the corridor? Oh, here it is.
Here’s the closet. Locked. Where’s the key? Back in
the computer room, in the key box. Where else… Here’s
the key box. It’s locked too. Where’s the key to the
key box? It’s with the Commander. He’s with Charlotte
the Harlot in her room and cannot be disturbed. What
do you do in such cases? Surely they’ll teach us in
Advanced Shift Manager Academy, next summer. When is
next summer? What’s now, winter or summer? How can you
know anything in this freaking space hole. Endless
buzzers but what do you do with them, they don’t tell
you.
“CATCH
HER – ALIVE OR DEAD!!!” screams the Chief to
all the policemen that have been standing still until
now, without a command to tell them what to do in such
a weird case. Some of them run toward Liberty.
She enters the candy store and some forty policemen
after her. The audience looks to the candy store:
sounds of clashing swords and shattering objects
inside. What’s going on in there?
Liberty shows up in the gallery window with a large
cream pie in her hand, waving it to the crowd and
jumps right onto the plaza, the pie in her hand.
That was the signal.
 They grabbed anything that looked like a cream pie
and stuck it in the policemen’s faces. Even a tray
with rotting fruit, tomatoes, anything goes. Several
policemen step out of the candy store, their uniform
smeared with colorful creams and shining cake candies
all over. One of them has cream on his head with a
birthday candle sticking out.
“Got a match?” asks a little black boy and points at
the shocked policeman’s head.
The policeman chases the boy, splits on pink fruit
cream and falls face down.
The little boy can’t laugh any harder, he lays down
and bangs his fist on the plaza floor…
What happens to this little boy and his friends down
at the plaza is also happening to everybody else in
the Broken Pyramid, to the last of its levels.
Everybody felt it even if they did not see everything.
In the computer room of the Golden Eye all computers
died, not before three large monitors exploded and a
recorded message played saying that the mainframe is
going down but not shut off – literally DIE.
 The genius programmer Billy G. assumed it an absolute
impossibility for all glands, all at once, to go out
of control. He defined such occurrence as a fatal
malfunction of the surveillance software. The genius
programmer Dick Headlong, way back in the history of
building the Golden Eye, defined any fatal malfunction
in one of the auxiliary programs, current and any
future installations, as an absolutely impossibility.
Such an indication would mean only one thing: that the
mainframe has gone berserk beyond repair and therefore
must be destroyed. Designing of backup for such a
case… well… Dick Headlong postponed that action item
for a later date. Such later date never arrived, since
Headlong retired to Alphus Centaurus and his
replacement understood nothing about computers, after
attending thirteen computer education programs each
teaching contradicting logic.
The Shift Manager stayed in the dark, sitting still so
as not to run into the broken monitor pieces. The
mainframe computer turned off the lights and
disconnected the phones too. No point in getting up to
the flashlight which is one step away. Why? Simply
because the flashlight is in the very blue, and very
locked, drawer. And the keys, as you remember, are
with the Commander. Who is locked with Charlotte the
Harlot in her room because the door control computer
got whacked as well. I hope he’s having fun, thought
the kindhearted Shift Manager…
 After some fifty minutes of endless fun, Liberty felt
that her energies for running around and going wild
were getting low. She started planning the end of this
big party. It would be wise not to run into the angry
policemen since they’ve received a clear order to
catch her dead or alive. She knows what they would
choose, now that their honor got whacked and trampled.
With an easy step she walked over to the Chief of
Police who was still standing at the center of the
plaza, screaming commands in all directions. He looked
at her, rubbed his red eyes and returned to look at
her. She just stood there watching him.
After a moment of silence he started screaming the
entire list of curses and accusations he could think
of – it’s all her fault and such. She listened to him
but was light and airy, it all passed through her like
wind through fishnet and she continued to stand and
listen, relaxed and silent.
After repeating his entire sequence of cursing and
swearing seventeen times, he shut up, took her by the
arm and led her to the police station.
The sounds of wild laughter continued to echo for a
long hour outside the police station. From time to
time another policeman showed up at the door all dirty
and exhausted, and with a long face proceeded toward
the locker room.
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